Saturday, March 31, 2012

Saturday afternoon

Let us enjoy what peace we have in our hearts & what joy we have left.

Clear intent

1. So I went to see my optician today (finally) and my eyes are alright! That means, i'm safe to wear my corrective lens again and i'd no longer be semi-blind after tonight! Hooray!

2. Been craving for molten cheese naan for the past few nights and didn't get one at Ameem yesterday since pizza at Sapore Italliano was surprisingly filling. Perhaps laughing about and finding the Hug Me coke machine contributed to this 'full' feeling. Anyway, I make my own cheese naan with garlic herb sausage today!

3. There's a test next week, 2 more tests the week after and my whole singapore studies project dued that week. Kinda crazy but oh well, it's the university life isn't it? At least as a pharmacy student. On a lighter note, I went down to Fairfield methodist church with my dad today to ask for permission to film and i'd be going down on tuesday to do so.


This morning I woke up shuddering. I dreamt that I was to marry someone I didn't know and whose face i've never seen. Really strange dream (I didn't get to see his face and I wasn't told that I was to marry since I found out about this arrange marriage through an accidental eavesdrop). Thankfully my parents are far from such, they would never arrange a marriage for me and know my heart knows best.

Anyway today ended happy. Simple joys.

there was a Hug me coke machine at Arts today but we couldn't find it. What a pity.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

suddenly traveling to-back from school seems very tiring

Sunday, March 25, 2012


People, tired. Avoid disgust, I wonder. Love failed, men, man, failed. It takes a toil on many things. Hypocrisy, contradiction between accepting and unforgiveness. Mistakes on impulse; implications, pray they not be. You're begging, I begged. Caring doesn't feel the same anymore, absence. Words that hit on the surface and doesn't seep in, barely touching a nerve. A warm hug but I feel the cold from the aircon instead. Something once treasured and sacred, reduced to ranks similar to commodities. I question myself why I even do this. I hate my actions, i'm ashamed. Now these take toil on me. URGH
oh screw it.

Friday, March 23, 2012

It's gonna be 4 am and im still awake, whooots. been awake for more than 24 hours?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Education & I

I can't deny the joy from acquiring knowledge. Information is interesting, all the better if it's one of my interest. If I further my studies in years to come, i'm sure i'd say how tired I am and how lost I can get from trying to understand, memorize facts and hope they retain in my head. Maybe I wouldn't need to memorize so many facts because it'll be about applications or critical thinking instead. Right now i'm already feeling a little burnt out; perhaps quite a lot, I don't know. Late nights and unproductivity have definitely contributed a whole lot to this. Oh, yes, distractions too. Tests, projects, final papers are to come and I feel like my hands and legs are tied but my body is carried forth by this wave of time. I'm rambling on cause i'm can't really logically and categorically explain things. I can't think of the right vocabulary to use now even. There's probably plenty of grammar mistakes in this ramble but i'm gonna leave it. It's a ramble anyway.

Should start getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep everyday.

Trembling hands

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Cause I might be gone today

It's funny and scary, at the same time, how we might be loving someone who loves another. I'm on day3 without caffeine, trying to substitute it with Ribena and fruit juice. I'm so easily irritable. So much work up my sleeves, time so fleeting.
I let myself be nice and care. Only after the monotonous tone rings in my ears so I hesitate and wonder why I even bother. I guess justification is what one seeks and revenge gives it so easily. Yet, like a canvas that covers my thought, I step past it. Then only after, I question myself. Things would probably be less questionable if I just let it be. Forgive and then be grateful for what I seemingly have. That is if you hold my hand so tightly but when i'm away, your mind dwells in the absence of another. That's if you tell me it's alright but get bored and pissed with me thinking about how you might have wasted your time listening to me ramble.
I don't know why my actions are carried out sometimes, body's almost hypocritical to my mind, to my heart. I'm quite messed up and confused with identifying both anyway.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

No one would love something too broken.


Distance can be a quantitative and qualitative measure. I'm not sure whether it's good or bad, perhaps it's neither. You might find yourself slowly fading even when you're doing something; laughing, walking, talking, writing, watching a video, making out or sleeping.

Monday, March 12, 2012

refusing sleep cause it's raining so heavily, & I don't want morning to come.

leave good.


Not sure if i'll ever get married but I chanced upon this picture & I fell in love with it. The cutting and design is so flattering and perhaps one of the closest one can get to a fairytale type of marriage.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Simple cause I don't understand

We said it's over, i've closed that section. You call me, calls, & say that you miss me. How much can lies lead, really.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

fuck you, it's hell when you're around. i'm done with the guessing that had the better of you. Hate me, hate me good and let me out, let me out. Let me out, let me out cause it's hell when you're around. I'd be the better of me, let me.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Right now I feel terribly overwhelmed with the content for pharmacy prac2. I can't seem to remember the drugs, dose, everything's so blurry, oh my my my.