Cause I might be gone today

It's funny and scary, at the same time, how we might be loving someone who loves another. I'm on day3 without caffeine, trying to substitute it with Ribena and fruit juice. I'm so easily irritable. So much work up my sleeves, time so fleeting.

I let myself be nice and care. Only after the monotonous tone rings in my ears so I hesitate and wonder why I even bother. I guess justification is what one seeks and revenge gives it so easily. Yet, like a canvas that covers my thought, I step past it. Then only after, I question myself. Things would probably be less questionable if I just let it be. Forgive and then be grateful for what I seemingly have. That is if you hold my hand so tightly but when i'm away, your mind dwells in the absence of another. That's if you tell me it's alright but get bored and pissed with me thinking about how you might have wasted your time listening to me ramble.

I don't know why my actions are carried out sometimes, body's almost hypocritical to my mind, to my heart. I'm quite messed up and confused with identifying both anyway.