i just want to feel home

6 weeks have passed since the ends of my exams and yesterday marked the last day of my 6 weeks of preceptorship. experience was memorable even though the thought of preceptorship in a retail setting didn't excite me at the start. thinking about it, the staff and especially my preceptor made the cold and long hours more bearable. i might not experience such again but it sure felt good walking through the semi-empty streets in town while my favorite songs play and knowing that the next destination is home. and surely i'd not forget how i spent half of my 21st birthday at work which was actually pretty alright.
definitely not ideal but i was happy.
now that it's over, i'd wish i can say that my holidays have finally started but special semester starts next week.

i had the worst series of dreams today.
it's kinda messy but it goes something like this.
we were in a car driving but we couldn't drive through this road but there was this huge grand wedding being held. those big anglican looking type of weddings with a bishop and someone sitting infront of the altar. white and pastel blue.
the scene then shifted to my dad having tea with a friend's father and 3 sisters. my dad didn't know of this friend and i didn't want them knowing about my dad's car.
i was then on the public bus with my mom sitting down. the bus stopped at a stop and a maid got up to hold a leash and when i turned my head to look down at what i thought was a dog, it was a really small withered adult that looked almost inhuman. while walking to the bus door to get down, he brushed against my leg. i told my mom to see how he was actually human but she told me to shh and look away.
we were then in the car again, there was funeral going on at the same time. the coffin had to be transported and the van could pass through the wedding. the coffin van was next to the bride. i commented how disturbed i was.
the bishop help up a metal tin containing ashes which he was suppose to use to marry the couple. he opened it and started to pour them out laughing nonchalantly then he poured some in his mouth and puked it out. he started to exclaim how all these asian wedding fantasies blahblah.
then suddenly we were in a home, my dad asked me to watch the dvd and tell the bishop how i felt about it, this film was supposedly some atheist promoting film. i told him i was really disturbed by the wedding and coffin.
thank god i woke up there after.